You've Got Mail
by CorrieFan8081
Summary: After the slippery slope of her gambling addiction, Carla finally seeks help on AddictAid and instantly finds an addict who suffers just as much as her. Following anonymous talks online and discovering she really is innocent, Carla begins to fall for the
1. Chapter 1: Welcome to AddictAid

**MissMerlot75 and Mistakes**

Life is certainly far from brilliant for me, despite what you are lead to believe. The incredible expensive car, stunning designer clothes and the option of any bloke in Manchester. It's not what you would want from life and certainly no way of living it. Apartment twelve at Victoria Court seems to portray my life incredibly well. The death, destruction and misery all covered and hidden by layer after layer of repairs and decoration. I often felt like the building that I called home, hiding the past under the strong, fiery façade I played so well.

Everything I love and care for seems to be ripped from me at some point. A man, a home, my own brother and even my baby. The baby I never thought I would have become so desperate to meet. I often imagined the different stages in my daughter's life; her first day of school, her first steps, first words and everyday she lived. Of course I'd never tell anybody of these fantasies. I wouldn't dare. I spent lonely nights in his flat reading through baby name books, imagining my little girl, my angel. Would she suit that name? Could I write that name on a birthday card or picture her as an adult with a name she'd suit as a child. Well, my favourite was Isabella. My beautiful, darling baby would have been Isabella Michelle Barlow. She would have been gorgeous, with mesmerising chocolate brown eyes like her father and long, luscious brunette hair like mine.

Then the knife inside my heart would twist further. Isabella's father, the love of my life. The only man I felt I could go against my own mind and commit to the prospect of motherhood. It was totally the opposite to what was natural to me but it felt so right carrying his child.

Yeah, I suppose you could look at me now and say I'm happy but it's not real. In fact, the fantasies of my baby seem more real than this. I think he even knows, he knows that it will never be him I want to wake up to in a morning or him I dream of every night. I hate watching people hurt but sometimes that's what life does to you. Even though I have Nick, he's not Peter. Peter. God, his name even sends shivers of pleasure down my spine. Then again, gambling thousands after thousands of pounds away gives me shivers, a rush and one that I desperately need to stop. But, each time I feel I can there's a set back. Like driving unexpectedly over a speed bump, slowing you down and preventing you from going any faster. Every time I saw Leanne staring at the sparkling engagement ring on her left hand, wishing and wondering if she hadn't rushed into Victoria Court to rescue me. Maybe then she'd still have Kal. And Sophie, the polite and friendly young daughter of Sally's had lost her girlfriend too; it was all because of me. My addictions, demons and mistakes. Every day that came I pray, pray that this nightmare will end and it'll be me they create a memorial for and not them. I think that way a lot though. If only I had died and not Tina or Isabella. If only. They are the words that rattle round my head all the time.

* * *

The days were as lonely as the one before. I would awake alone and fall asleep alone. Two years ago I had everything I could have wanted; the love of my life, Carla, my son Simon adored me, I had my business and a home on the street I had come to love just as much as Carla.

Dad told me not so long ago that Car had shacked up with the Weatherfield Snake, none other than slimy Nick Tilsley. God that man managed to have all of Peter's women. It felt like a dagger through my heart hearing all about their relationship and the difficult time she had gone through with the fire. I wanted to call, text and hold her but it never felt right. I could just imagine her face, those lips I could kiss for years and years would be pulled into a face of disgust and anger. It was my fault we had lost our little girl and that Carla had decided to date the local slimeball.

* * *

Her number had never been deleted off my phone, her name and the pictures of us together were still there. I was always keeping her close to my heart, just as much as Simon. On the boat, her picture is the last thing I look at; I admire the beauty of the woman I resented. The angular cheekbones that she would show off when she smiled or when she cried. It ached to be away from her but she is better without me. She's safe and away from harm, and me. Yet why does it feel like my life itself has been taken from me?

* * *

It's difficult to fight feelings, especially when they are so strong. That is the only way to describe the way my mind works. I find a new drug, a new addiction to provide pleasure and escapism from the disasters that I manage to make it out of. Alcohol. An escape from all of the hell with Tony, my baby, financial problems at the one constant in my life, Underworld. The booze would take the sting out of the pain before providing it again with even more agony the following morning. I don't just mean a hangover from hell either. Peter. Well, Peter was one drug that even the toughest can't resist. He was the one thing I could never give up. He was the one. Still, he was thousands of miles away soaking up the glaring sun of Antigua, charming as many females as possible. The feeling infuriated me. It seems stupid, even after all this time but you never stop loving someone, especially when that someone is Peter Barlow.

Then of course there is my latest addiction. The gambling. Watching my life and money slip through my fingers like delicate china. It feels like justice though. A relief from the guilt of killing Kal and Maddie and destroying the lives of their loved ones. Even so, I can't keep stealing money from my boyfriend to fund an addiction. Michelle and my therapist reccomed AddictAid and suggest I talk to other addicts. What's the worst that could happen, eh?

* * *

 **Welcome to AddictAid**

Hello user, welcome to AddictAid, the online addicts anonymous. This AA is like no other you can share experiences with other addicts, meet up or remain strictly anonymous. Help is at your fingertips and so is the start to your new, addiction free life.

Feel free to chat in groups or alone with other addicts to seek the guidance and support to get back to being you.

* * *

Welcome, MissMerlot75, the screen read in front of me. It seemed like an appropriate name. I didn't fancy broadcasting it to the entire world my problems. It was short, sweet and meant Nick had no clue that I was using it.

* * *

I logged in to my account after putting the wrong password in five times. The account finally opened and the name LeatherJacket03 flashed up. Personally, I thought it was a cool name but after spending months on the website it seemed pretty cheesy. The subscription was very pointless as nobody had comtacted me or added me. As I hovered over the delete account button, a name flashed up.

 **MissMerlot75**

 **Hi, I believe you are an addict like me. Could you talk to me about your struggle?**

Well, why not? It wasn't as if she would turn out to be the love of my life or one of the many ex-wives.

 **LeatherJacket03**

 **Sure. Ask away. I am always here to help.**

* * *

 _ **Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and Peter and Carla are in character because I am a bit of a novice at writing them! I have had this idea for ages and just fancied trying it. Also, let me know of any errors because I would love to become a good Carter fic writer!**_

 _ **Any reviews would be greatly appreciated! :-)**_


	2. Chapter 2: Humour Me

**Stuck In The Middle**

I sat opposite him at a table in the Bistro. He gazed into my eyes, pouring another glass of red for us both as he looked at me. I smiled back and blushed as he laughed.

"So, what do you fancy doing later?" Nick asked me after he handed me my glass of wine.

"I don't mind Nicholas," I lied, swirling the Merlot around the wine glass. I knew what I would have preferred to do. It definitely didn't involve Nick though.

"Well we could eat here and go back to mine," he smiled, winking at me so I would take the hint.

"Yeah, of course. Sounds like fun," I said, trying to convince myself I would have a good time with him. It wasn't that I didn't like Nick, because I did but he didn't understand. My new found friend on AddictAid did and that was a nice feeling to know there was someone out there that knew what it felt like but didn't know me well enough to judge.

"Is everything alright?" He asked, resting his hands on mine and stroking them gently.

"Yeah, I am fine, honest."

"You'd tell me if you weren't, wouldn't you?"

I nodded and sipped the red liquid, taking bigger gulps as I noticed him staring even more.

"Here we go, two steaks," Steph smiled, placing them down on the table in front of us both.

"Thanks," we said in unison as Nick dropped my hand and rested it on the table. I loved his gentle touch and his caring way for me and the fact he was the complete opposite to Peter but there was something missing. A piece of the puzzle that had become lost under the wreckage that my life had turned into. Maybe it was the element of danger and surprise I missed. That was something that didn't come in short supply with Peter but it did with Nick. He was the stable option, the one that wouldn't let me down. But was he _the one_? Well, I wasn't sure about that however it was lovely having someone to look after me and be the grown up of the relationship. Even if he wasn't the one, I'd take everything he would give to me and enjoy it as best as I could before the guilt would kick in and the wine would no longer numb the pain.

"That was almost as lovely as you," I grinned after having half the bottle of wine in front of us.

He smirked and leaned across the table to kiss me. It was clumsy and was as special as a kiss on the cheek from good ol' Ken Barlow. He looked uncomfortable as though he wanted to leave. I was right. Leanne was watching with her expression reading disgust. Well, it always did when she saw me. Dating Nick just made her stare and scowl at me even more than before.

"Ignore her," I whispered, my face just inches from Nick's. We were so close that I could feel the stubble grazing my soft skin. Even though we didn't look, I could feel Leanne's eyes burning through my black dress and boots.

"I wasn't looking at her. I can't keep my eyes of this beautiful woman that is my girlfriend," he softly said back, leaning in again and kissing me. He seemed more confident, deepening the kiss and running his hands through my hair.

"Come on, let's go," Nick said, grabbing my hand and throwing £40 down on the table and gesturing to Steph to collect the money. She hurried over and took the cash as I flicked back, watching the money go in the till. God I wanted it. The desire was burning through my body more so than the wine I had consumed. I needed to feed the addiction.

Outside, Nick linked arms with me and walked us back to the flats.

"Actually Nick, I think I fancy an early night."

"Sure thing," he grinned as we walked through the main enterance of the building.

"No," I began, feeling uncomfortable at giving him the brush off. The last time I had done that to a bloke he physically assaulted me in my own flat. The mental images flooded my mind of Frank. Shuddering, the thoughts quickly vanished; just like Nick' smile. "Sorry, I have had a long day and I need to be up early in the morning. Night Nick," I said, hurrying down the corridor and unlocking my front door, not even checking if Nick was still stood there.

Locking the door behind me, I headed over to the sofa and opened my laptop. Popping the password and username details in on AddictAid, I read my Inbox.

* * *

 **LeatherJacket03**

 **Hi again, I hope today has been a better day for you. Let me know how you got on.**

* * *

I smiled and began typing a response to my mystery friend on the other end.

* * *

 **MissMerlot75**

 **Thank you. Yeah today has been better thanks. I just find it difficult to resist at times. Do you know what I mean?**

* * *

The latest message appeared in my inbox. I gave a smile as I typed a response back, pleased to offer my support to someone who struggled as much as me with the booze.

* * *

 **I had the exact same problem. Once was never enough to curb my addiction. I was an alcoholic by the way. In the end, I upped sticks and tried to sort myself out. Oh, do you want to do the name thing or stay as MissMerlot?**

* * *

My fingers danced over the keyboard in front of me. Should he know my name? Or would that make things far too complicated? But then again, over 7.125 billion people in the world. What was the likelihood of me knowing this person on the other end? And if I did, could I face them knowing all about me, the mistakes I have made and the destruction I've caused. Nah, remain MissMerlot seemed like a safer option.

* * *

 **MissMerlot75**

 **I** **would but I don't think the police officers I am sat with would allow it.**

* * *

I joked, sending the message whilst praying they would find it funny and also not be in prison like I had just said I was.

* * *

Prison? I couldn't help but chuckle. This person obviously had a very dark sense of humour and one I adored straight away. Mostly because it reminded me of Carla.

* * *

Crossing my fingers as tightly as I could, the reply came through. Thank goodness, they got the joke.

I laughed too at their sense of humour, much like mine.

* * *

 **LeatherJacket03**

 **Hmm. What's your cell like? Mine is pretty dull so I am intrigued to know what yours is like.**

* * *

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I laughed hysterically. It felt great to finally tell someone about my struggle but not having them judge me because of who I have been with and what I have done.

That night was the best night sleep I had in over a year. Well, one year, three months and fourteen days. That was the last time I had slept blissfully, Peter lying next to me. The next time I slept Tina had been attacked by Rob and I was under suspicion for killing her. What a great time that was.

Even the night I had spent with Nick was restless. Tossing and turning in the bed all night, my mind spinning like the roulette I had played earlier that week.

"Morning Mrs Connor!" Sally grinned, running over to me and handing me a coffee. God she was such a kiss arse at times!

"Sally, would you remove yourself from my backside please?" I said as all the staff started giggling as I told her off.

"An' you lot, back to work!" Aidan barked at them.

"Aidan, this isn't just your factory you know, I am capable of running this place." I replied, standing and folding my arms in an attempt to look authoritative and make him feel small. Nope, he didn't, the smug git didn't stop.

"What? Running it into the ground?"

I looked around to see all the factory girls and Sean chuckling to themselves. Great, he had even managed to turn them against me. Then again, it didn't take much for them all to loathe me.

"Aidan, I have been running this factory for a very long time! If I remember rightly, you were still in nappies when I opened this place!"

Aidan appeared un fazed. "Carla, I have the money, time and no addiction. I can run this place whilst you destroy it. Without me you would have sold this factory and the staff with it. I suggest you be grateful and thank Nick for ringing me." Aidan smugly replied. I could have knocked his lights out.

"That's it... I am not taking this from you!" I began, slinging the only designer bag I had left over my shoulder and strutting out to see Nick at the Bistro. He gave me that genuine smile I loved and poured me a drink straight away. On the counter was Nick's credit card. God it was tempting to just take and use some of the money on it. I'd pay him back, I told myself as Leanne came out of the office.

"Nick what's the pin on that card again? I need it for the stock delivery." Leanne said.

Nick replied, "It's 1980."

"Well it isn't working! I tried that!"

I watched on, waiting for him to leave with her. Please, please just leave and let me have the card. I wouldn't even need that much off it to take to the casino. Just £100 would do.

"Urgh fine," Nick began, turning back to me. "I won't be a second. Right, Leanne, what is it?!" He followed her into the office as I grabbed the card and headed off to the casino that he had come with me to a few weeks earlier.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, reviewing and following! I didn't feel I could carry this on but your reviews really made me want to! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please let me know what you think! Again, I don't really write Carla or Peter so let me know if they are too OOC!**


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